Dividing a parent's belongings fairly among family

Start with an inventory everyone can see

Photograph each room and each item worth discussing. A shared list with photos means relatives who live far away can take part, and nobody feels something was decided before they saw it. Uploading the photos to a private FriendsSale sale does this for you: it groups and names items and keeps everything in one link.

Pick a method before anyone picks items

• Take turns: family members take turns choosing one item at a time, in an order set by drawing names.
• Bid: everyone bids on what they want. It works with real money or with a set number of points each person gets. Everyone sees the top bid, so it's transparent.
• Wish lists: everyone privately lists what matters most to them, and you start with the items only one person wants.
• Agree on the method first. Arguments usually come from changing the rules halfway through.

Handle sentimental items separately

Photos, letters and heirlooms often matter more than furniture. Consider setting them aside for a conversation instead of including them in any bidding, and remember that scanning photos lets everyone keep a copy.

Plan for what nobody takes

• Once family has had first pick, open the sale to friends and neighbors.
• Donate what's left, and ask for a receipt if the estate may want it.
• For valuable items (jewelry, art, antiques), get an appraisal before deciding how to divide or sell them.